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Courtship is any activity that precedes marriage and it usually takes place between a man and a woman who have shown interest in each other. It is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During this period, the man and the woman involved usually gets to know each other the more. There is a whole lot of difference between what courtship entails and dating– that a whole lot of young people have come to embrace today. The truth is, most dating relationships are casual and in most times and cases, the serious commitment needed for a life-time walking together of the man and the woman involved are usually absent. Dating (if properly managed), followed by courtship, is supposed to lead to a happy marriage.
But this cannot happen if it is not built on the right footing. Most maritally intended couples have no idea that the groundwork of a successful marriage starts long before the day of the wedding. There are people who started well with dating but could not take it a step further. This is why parties involved in dating relationships walk out of it with a feeling of rejection, dejection, being used or being taken advantage of.
Although, do not get it twisted. There are some dating relationships as well that have turned out well. It is not all dating relationships that are totally bad. I have seen a couple of unbelievers who started out that way and eventually ended up marrying each other, however, a house that is built on faulty foundation will definitely cave in when the storm comes. Notice the parable of the wise and the foolish builder in Matthew 7:24-27. The same problem tested both houses, but one caved in simply because it was founded on a faulty foundation, and the other stood the test of time simply because it was founded upon the rock. This is why for maritally intended couples, dating could be a way to begin the journey but however, it may not sustain it.
Now let us examine what a godly courtship or the God-kind of courtship looks like. It is simply laying the foundation of a blissful and happy marriage. I will like to compare the man and the woman in a godly courtship as that wise builder that builds upon the rock. The rock I am talking about here is not “Olumo” rock or the rock of frivolities and deception of the devil. The rock I am talking about here is the word of God. In other words, the word of God must be the foundation and the compass of the relationship.
What this means is that the two parties involved in the courtship must be born again children of God. This is why as a child of God; the bible does not permit you to be unequally yoked with unbeliever. It is a different ball game if a believer has already been married to an unbeliever; the bible encourages such a one to stay in the marriage. But it is courtship I am talking about here, and it is assumed that either party are not married yet. Now it is good you understand this piece is coming from the angle of people who are believers. It does not negate the fact that unbelievers too practices courtship and they are doing it well in their own way.
Let me quickly share with you why courting couples must be born again. There will arise times when disagreements will ensue that it would require the lights of the word of God to settle it. Just imagine if one of the parties isn’t a born again child of God, it means to settle such disagreements with the word would prove difficult. Someone may be tempted right now to think, why should courting couples disagree? But the truth be told, disagreements will always ensue. When people claim they are in a relationship and they have never quarrelled before, it then means one of the parties must have been pretending. People disagree to agree, and the basis of agreement for couples in godly courtship is the word of God. This is why your partner must be born again.
The other thing that looks like what has been said above is that the scriptures must be the final authority upon which the parties involved must rest on. Everything must be seen from the perspective of the word of God. The reason many people experience misunderstandings and all kinds of trouble in marriage is because they did not learn how to make the word of God shape their views yet. There are times where you and your spouse to be will have deferring opinions on issues, but the two of you must agree to allow the word of God shape your views. Don’t forget the scripture says in Amos 3:3 that can two walk together except they agree? There are other ingredients that should be part of the foundation of the God-kind of courtship and I trust God to be able to share them with you in other subsequent writings.
I believe this piece has blessed you in some ways. Do share it with your friends and loved ones and let them benefit from the lessons in it. Thanks for reading and have a blessed day.