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Knowing your man will save you so much stress in marriage, it will help you leave the realms of complaining, murmuring and comparing your man with other men. Knowing your man will help you relate well with him and respect him for who he is. Wisdom is the principal of it all. Hosea 4:6 ‘my people perish for lack of knowledge’. Efforts must be put in on this as a woman; this is work, lot of work at that. You have to consciously study your man to understand him.
You are God’s gift to your man and just as you come unassembled and imperfect, he is also. When you come to understand men in general as God as created them to be and also understand your own man as he is, you will not waste your marriage and the better part of your marriage trying to change your husband into what you think he should be. The point is to KNOW HIM. Have a good knowledge of him. Don’t let your marriage perish for lack of strength to learn, study and understand your husband. Don’t be lazy to do it. Do it consciously. It’s worth the time invested because it saves the stress and hurts. After you might have understood him, you will need to learn to conform to your man. Renew your mind towards his personality and love him some more.
Without wisdom, you will falter in confusion and doubts about the will of God. Wisdom opens the door of discovery, whispers peace because you know the truth. Wisdom promotes, it brings honor, and you don’t see shame when you are wise enough to understand your man. Wisdom gives grace and crown of Glory. Proverbs 4:5-9.
According to a book I read sometimes back, there are three types of men to which I agree with the writers assertions and I will like to share some of it here with us. Just as God created man in His own image and after His own likeness and He said let US create man in OUR likeness. The use of US and OUR here means more than one and likeness means in the image, a look alike. The ‘US’ here is God referring to Himself and He is three persons; God the father, son and Holy Spirit. The three types of men are likened to The Father type, the Son type and the Spirit type which was rephrased as the King, the Priest and the Prophet respectively.
The type of man likened unto God the Holy Spirit is the Prophet typed man. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. This is where you find a visionary man, a man striving to change the way things are. They are organizers and investigators of any frontline social issue. They love confrontations and hate the status quo. They get consumed with the need to communicate with words, music, writing, art or actions. They can love with a passion and be aggressively loyal to their friends and family. However, if not balanced they could get fanatically focused on one or two weird issues and in the process, upset the entire family. You will hear them going on and on about issues. The downside of the prophet’s type is that if they are not wise, they can be real fools who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way. The difference between a productive and a destructive prophet is a good, supportive and stable woman. This is the reason for the need to understand your man, so you can know how to relate properly with him and not compare him with other men. His wiring is different. As a wife, you need a life, a vibrant life with purpose, so when your visionary husband becomes focused on some strange, new project, your life will continue to go on smoothly and happily. Don’t be offended if he focuses on something else other than you. It’s his nature.
If you end up with them you need to learn how to be flexible and how to always be loyal to your man. You will know how much happier you will be and how much fun can be if you learn to just go with the flow- his flow. And once you get it that your husband doesn’t have to be always ‘right’ before you follow him, you will finally find peace.
A visionary man will not notice what he eats, so don’t be offended when he doesn’t seem to appreciate your fine cooking. What he appreciates is your interest in his next project- not your opinion or your input, he just wants to see the light in your eyes as you listen to his ideas. He will talk and talk and talk to his wife if she approves of him, he will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods and spiritual insights. His focus can be so intense that he blows matters out of proportion, as a wise wife, you guard against negative conversation about people. He might spend money unwisely leaving his wife feeling in secured. To stay happy with this man, always remember that your treasure is not in this world.
The second is the priest type, likened unto Jesus. This is the most steady and easy going man. He will not make a snap decision or spend his last time on a new idea, nor does he tries to tell other people what to do. He is one who will remain faithful till the day he dies. The downside of a priestly man is the irritation his steadiness produces in an impatient, romantic woman needing a little reckless adventure to spice up her life. He seems to let people use him; he is a people’s person. Everyone will like him and enjoy his easy manner. He will like helping others, having his home open to casual get together and visiting around. A good wife will make herself conform to his gifts. Start learning how to pay bills, make appointments and entertain guests, be creative. She will use her time to make her home a pleasant place to gather. She will learn to cook for groups and become a gracious hostess. Her strength will be in HOSPITALITY. This will bring him honor. An impatient wife will often find it difficult to quietly wait for him to make up his mind. He will expect his wife to be resourceful and hardworking, one who shows dignity and honor. He will be proud of your accomplishments; he will want you to use your natural skills, abilities, and drives. Your accomplishment will be an honor to him. But if you are lazy and slothful, it will greatly discourage him.
He will not expect you to cook, clean and serve him but he might enjoy being in the kitchen cooking with you. If he does and if you are a perfectionist, unhappy with contribution, you will be stealing something precious from your marriage. He will want to share his greatest feelings and thoughts with you, so be still until he figures out how. He will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable with anyone who drops in. He will be in high demand, as people will need him to do stuffs for them like fix a car, set up their computer, phone etc. You begin to ask if you will ever have him all to yourself. He will not waste money nor take reckless chances. If you marry a man like this, you will never feel insecure although he might be tight fisted when you want to spend money. Wisdom is the principal thing. Consciously understand your man so you can be a help suited for him.
The third is the Kingly typed man likened unto God the father. If you marry this type of man, be ready to give him honor and reverence on a daily basis if you want him to be benevolent, honest, strong and a fulfilled man. A kingly man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. They are not like other men, sharing their personal feelings with their wives. They seem to be sufficient unto themselves. It can leave the sensitive woman, shut out. If a wife supports her kingly man, he will honor her with glory, but if she becomes his opposition, he will go on without her. She is on call every minute of the day. He wants to know where she is, what she is doing and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thoughts. A king wants a queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. A wife must learn to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her but it is very important for her to learn how to serve him with joy. She later will be his closest and sometimes his only confidante.
Kings usually like fine meals served on time and in good order. If you are an especially good cook, your gifts will be greatly appreciated. He is not one to help out in the kitchen so don’t get offended. They like to talk about their plans, ideas, and unfinished projects. They will be very objective, very unemotional and not enjoy small talk. The wife needs to help him remember individual’s needs. He will not confer with his wife concerning the way he spends money. If his wife feels it is her right to help decide how the money is spent, she will engage in war she will never win. Even though she is not part of the decision making, a kingly wife will feel secure in her husband’s ability to take care of her due to his commanding confidence. It is important to know that much of how a kingly man reacts depends on his wife’s reverence to him. When a kingly man is treated with reverence and honor, a good help meet will find that he will be wonderfully protective and supportive.
In most marriages, the strive is not because the man is cruel or evil; it is because he expects obedience, honor and reverence and is not getting it, as a result, he reacts badly. Wisdom is key. Begin to build on God’s gift of wisdom to aid you in your pursuit of “wife-hood”, knowing your husband and motherhood, understanding your children. Also, ask God to give your husband wisdom. Henceforth, do not complain about your husband but understand his person and work with it, remember, you can’t change any man and no one is perfect, we are all work in progress. Just work more on yourself.