For Men: Understanding Leadership in Maritally-Intended Relationship

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Leadership has a lot to do with leading, in whatever setting or form you may think of. Be it in government, organizations, family, church; it all boils down to the fact that there is a person everyone looks up to at any point in time. As a leader, you take responsibility for a lot of things. When everything is going the right way they should, as a leader you are praised for it. Also, whenever things go the other way round, you also bear the blame as a leader. So, the position of leadership is one that is sensitive and has a lot of responsibility attached to it.

Within the context of marriage, God designed the man to lead. By virtue of precedence, God made man first before He made the woman and not the other way round. Although, both man and woman are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), man by virtue of design and being the first image of God takes the role of leadership. Leadership is a godly, healthy and motivational influence that inspires followership. As a matter of fact, Godly leadership is not bossy neither is it forceful, but rather, motivational.

Many relationships have crumbled today simply because the supposed man is forming bossy over the woman. God has not made you a boss over your spouse, but rather to inspire her unto good works. Your spouse should be able to look at you and see God in you. An understanding of this by the man will go a long way to help the relationship grow unto maturity. Learning to lead your spouse doesn’t have to start when you both are married. Putting this into practice during courtship will go a long way to help you both when you are finally married. Remember this as a man that Leadership is about taking responsibility and not making excuses.

Godly Leadership is inspirational. It propels and motivates others unto good works. There is nothing that drives as an inspiration. When your spouse is inspired through you, she follows naturally. Leadership is not about positions, titles or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another. The moment your spouse cannot pick any inspiration from your leading, then such leadership style is nothing short of a forced coercion. By your obedience and as you follow the Lord Jesus, your spouse is inspired and flows along your direction. As a matter of fact, your spouse follows you, almost without question; when she sees wisdom, strength and faithfulness in you. I have seen a couple of folks, especially guys in relationships who struggle with this aspect of their relationship. The supposed lady finds it difficult to learn obedience simply because the man isn’t inspiring. My advice to the guys in situations like this is simple: learn to follow Christ, and as you do that; your spouse will follow you too.

Another characteristic of Godly leadership is that it is purposeful. Being the man (the head), God didn’t just make you a figure head, it is to an intent. An understanding of your purpose as the man in the relationship will go a long way to command the necessary followership that you require from your spouse. The main goal of your relationship is that both of you can fulfill God’s purpose together in life and destiny. As the man in the relationship, your main aim should be achieving this and ensuring that this fulfilled. When your spouse is not motivated in the area of purpose, then something must have gone wrong with your leadership role as the man.

Furthermore, being the leader in the relationship does not make you a dictator. As the man, you must recognize the fact that being bossy over your spouse will not command the necessary followership. You don’t command obedience on people in a forceful manner, as a matter of truth, obedience is learned through followership. Your spouse-to-be naturally follows your godly leading as she sees you take the lead. Lastly, in godly leadership, there is mutual recognition, honour and respect. Godly leadership is exemplary and not dictatorial.

Thanks for reading.

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Obayomi Abiola Benjamin
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|Teacher| Writer|Visit |God's Pikin| Nigeria will be great again. The change we need in Nigeria begins with all of us doing things differently. Collectively, we can make Nigeria work.

Obayomi Abiola Benjamin

|Teacher| Writer|Visit |God's Pikin| Nigeria will be great again. The change we need in Nigeria begins with all of us doing things differently. Collectively, we can make Nigeria work.

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For Men: Understanding Leadership in Maritally-Intended Relationship

by Obayomi Abiola Benjamin time to read: 3 min