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One of the dangerous assumption in courtship is the attitude and belief of the parties involved that soon, they would be married and because of that, throw all caution into the wind. Many, have lost their virginities on the altar of this erroneous belief only to realize at the end of the day that the courtship never went beyond that moment. The understanding a lot of people don’t have is that sex isn’t what really keeps a man or a woman in a relationship, it is love. And because of ignorance, a lot of innocent people have fallen victim of “sex would keep us together and make us stronger” rhetoric, and have therefore been disappointed.
It is like the idiomatic expression of “putting the cart before the horse”, you would sure not get the expected outcome at the end of the day. Marriage is before sex, and not sex before marriage. When you introduce sex and romance in your courtship, before the marriage proper is consummated; what you have simply done or doing is gradually setting fire on the roof, the relationship would definitely not see the light of day. Many who engaged in such acts, and are able to make it till marriage, are simply battling with one form of infidelity or the other in their marriages. It is either the husband is unfaithful, or the wife is busy as well messing around.
Those who don’t make it till marriage break up at the middle of no where. The courtship just could not continue for no genuine reasons whatsoever. So, you have people’s emotions being hurt and a feeling of disappointment and regrets ensued from the parties involved. A brother once confided in me sometimes ago. He said one of the greatest regrets he had is having sex with his ex-girlfriend. He said if he had known they won’t end up together, he would not have tried it. The issue so pained him because he happened to be the one that deflower the lady.
They had courted for four years, without sex! And immediately the act was introduced in their fifth year of courtship, to ‘lighten up’ their relationship and further show a sense of commitment towards each other; everything that had hitherto been wonderful, started falling apart. They just found out that they two were not compatible for each other anymore. The question then is: what happened when sex did not appear in the picture? Just think about that for a moment.
A lot of people today, especially young people; don’t have the faintest idea of what sex is. Many engage in the act out of sheer ignorance of enjoying life and relationship. Many ignorant ladies would even give sex to a man just to keep them in the relationship. It seems a lot haven’t read the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:6. Let me put it here in case you are reading this piece and your Bible isn’t with you. It says: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.”
You can view the phrase “what is holy” there to mean your body. Jesus said, don’t give your body to the dogs. The dogs there refer to that man that is requesting sex from you before marriage. A man who sleeps around is nothing short of that description….a dog! He goes from lady to lady, pretending to have a romantic relationship with them; and then sleeps with them; and he is gone unto another victim. A dog can sleep with as many female dogs as possible without any feeling of remorse. He does not have to love them, as long as he can get what he wants from them, he is satisfied.
Jesus said, don’t give what is holy (your body) to such people, they don’t deserve you at all! If you are in a relationship right now, and the man or the woman is pestering you for sex, you may want to reconsider your stance right now, before it is too late. Once he gets it, he is gone for good. Someone may be wondering, do ladies too pester guys for sex, the answer is YES! I have a personal experience of this before I met my wife of course, but this would be issue for another time.
Another phrase that is important in that Bible passage above is this: “nor cast your pearls before swine.” Your pearl in the context of this piece is your virginity. Jesus said, don’t cast it before swine. A pearl is something of great worth and so, it is worth cherishing. I know societal pressure on virgins are not easy in this modern days. Peer pressure have made so many young people to explore sex at the wrong time. But don’t give in to these pressures, don’t give your virginity away because certain people are making you believe that you don’t belong. Your virginity is a pearl, a treasure; Jesus in His words said…don’t cast it before swine.
A swine is a pig. It also connotes a contemptible or unpleasant person. When you cast your pearl before them (dogs and pigs), Jesus said they would “turn and tear you in pieces.” In other words, they would take you for granted, they would hurt and disappoint you. And this is what a lot of people (ladies and guys) have fallen victim of today. Never give in to the twin evil of romance and sex in your courtship. Wait until you are properly married. This matter is both an ethical and a spiritual issue, and that is why I have taken my time to let you see it from this light.
I believe this piece has inspired you, if it has, share it with your friends as well. Let them be enlightened! Have a blessed day.