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Marriage is about leaving, to cleave. One of the reasons a lot of marriages have problems today is simply because the people involved have only successfully fulfilled the first part of the phrase (the leaving), and usually fail in fulfilling the latter (the cleaving). Successful marriages rest on the two legs of leaving and cleaving, and not just on one of it. Most people leave their parents into marriage and fail to properly cleave when entered into marriage. This even becomes more difficult when the parties are forced to marry themselves. Under no circumstances should you subscribe to an “arranged wedding”, cleaving in this circumstances could be difficult.
The end of the leaving part is usually marked by the wedding ceremony, as people would come around and celebrate with you, eat your rice and what have you. But, the cleaving is the marriage proper.
Let us examine what the Scriptures say concerning this matter. Understand this one thing, that when marriage is done God’s way and according to the laid down instructions set in His word, frictions in homes and marriages would greatly reduce, and the rate of divorce as we witness in our world today would be minimal, if not totally eradicated. What is killing a lot of marriages is simply ignorance, and you can escape this kind of ignorance when you are knowledgeable about what God says concerning marriage. Examine the Scriptures below.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to wife, and they shall become one flesh.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
The three Bible passages above are saying the same thing, but said by three different persons. The first one in Genesis was said by God when He originally instituted marriage; where He brought Eve to Adam as his wife. I know someone may be wondering that Adam and Eve had no parents in the beginning, where was the father and mother God was referring to? Well, the answer is simple! God was their parent. What God was doing was simply laying precedence for everyone to follow. Adam and Eve’s marriage represented the first example of marriage everyone would end up following and so, God was both their parents. After all, He made them.
Although Eve was deceived! Come to think of it, it was so easy for Eve to fell for the trap of the devil because she was the first married woman. There was no example she could have learned from, there was no marriage guide or whatsoever and so, the devil was able to easily manipulate her. But today, there are a lot of marriages that you can learn from. There are millions of marriage materials available out there and because of that, you cannot lay claim to ignorance as an excuse for a failed home or marriage. Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:6 that there are examples one can gleaned from right now and so, we should learn from them.
The second and the third Bible passages were said by Jesus and Apostle Paul respectively, and they are both saying the same thing as well. So, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The word ‘joined’ there means the same thing as ‘cleaving’ as used in King James Version of the Bible. To cleave, according to Merriam-Webster dictionary simply means “to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly.” In other words, your loyalty now is to your partner and not your previous relationships or your many ex boyfriends and girlfriends.
Marriage is about two people becoming one – in loyalty, in closeness and giving each other unwavering support. Marriages that have issues today are as a result of either party not cleaving as he or she ought to. When the wife finds it difficult to submit herself to her husband, then it means the cleaving has not yet taking place in that marriage. When the man is finding it difficult to get his wife to follow his leadership for the family, and to love her accordingly, as the Scripture as spelt it out; then it means the cleaving hasn’t yet taken place as well in the marriage.
It is important that this cleaving part of the marriage be adequately explained to young people about entering into this institution in order to avoid unnecessary issues in the home. When this is done, then marriages would be interesting and trouble-free.
Thank you for reading.