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The challenge many young couples just starting out face today is how to know whether they are with the right person. Many are tired of playing hide and seek with their emotions with the wrong guy or lady, and so, they want to be sure if they are saying yes to the right person or not. And in certain occasions where some already know what their conviction(s) is or are, some are still very careful and want to know the grounds upon which those convictions rests upon. Is it based on true love or are they just on infatuations? Are the convictions driven by material things or are they borne out of true and genuine love for each other.
Let me share the following tips with you, and I believe they would be of tremendous help to you moving forward with your relationship.
The first tip you should know is this: are you convinced in the place of prayers? Well, I know folks who aren’t really spiritual may not agree with this, but that does not mean the place of prayer can be neglected. The truth is, God isn’t too busy to reveal to you whether or not to proceed with a relationship with that man or woman. He can, in His busy schedule; reveal to you if that fellow is His will for you. So, prayer is very essential in getting your convictions right about whom to marry. If you can settle it in the place of prayer, you are good to go. This may be challenging if you are not born again, but that does not mean God does not hear prayers that are prayed out of a genuine heart.
The second tip is this: Can you live the rest of your life with this person? Let us get practical a bit. I know God leads people into marital relationships, and He has also given us our eyes as well to behold wondrous things. Look at the supposed spouse, is he or she the person you can live the rest of your life with? This is a question that you must settle first! Is he or she the kind of man or woman you desire? Is the person fitting in your watch lists of things to look out for in a spouse? Is he too tall or too short, is he light-skinned or too dark-skinned? You know, this is what happens when you have boxed yourself usually with watch lists. Anyway, while it worked for some, watch list don’t actually work for others.
Many have started out with people they feel suits all their conditions, but the relationship eventually hit the rock bottom. The question we should ask ourselves then is: what went wrong with those relationships? That is to tell you it is usually not about watch lists, but whether you can really certify the livability of the both of you together. I am not saying here that watch lists isn’t good, all I am saying is not to limit yourself with such measure for getting a spouse.
The third tip is this: is your love for each other genuine or are they borne out of infatuation? Successful relationships are driven by love. When you remove love from most relationships, what you will be left with would be falsehood and pretense. And this is how to know true love, it is usually tested by time. True love for each other would grow as the days go by, unlike infatuations that dissipate at the passing of each moment. What infatuation does to a relationships is that it leaves a hole in the earth of the one who truly loves. This is why you must be very careful before you say I do to someone you aren’t sure whether he or she is only available momentarily to put a deep hole in your heart.
Many today have not been able to recover from the disappointment they got from a supposed spouse who profess love to them at first, and later change. Women usually in this situation finds it very difficult to move on from the hurt. What such incidents does to them is that it leaves with them this generalizations that all men are the same, and therefore cannot be trusted. When you meet a lady who says she does not believe in love, and that all men are the same, don’t look too far. Such is a woman who had experience hurts from a number of relationships that have promised heaven on earth.
Therefore, you must never rush to say I do if you aren’t sure the love is genuine. It is true that love grows with time, but ensure first that the love is founded on faithfulness, truthfulness and sincerity. To be honest with you, a love that would grow with time must have a solid base that would enhance that growth. The solid base in this case are faithfulness, truthfulness and sincerity. Ensure that they are present. Don’t be too quick to give your heart to a man or a woman, don’t be in a hurry to do so. Be patient enough to know that such decisions would not come back to hurt you.
The fourth tip is this: Compatibility. You two must ensure that you are both compatible, most especially, health wise, before you get into serious commitments with each other. Don’t assume you are both compatible, go for a test. Many young folks make serious mistakes at this point, some would have gone two, three years into their relationship before they now realize that medically, they cannot proceed further. There is nothing that stops you from asking this question from the beginning really, ask about your spouse medical records, genotype, blood group, HIV status and what have you. Sincere answers to these information would determine whether to proceed or not. Never take this for granted, once the medical compatibility isn’t there, there is no point pushing anything further. Just wish each other well and then move on with your lives.
If this short piece have inspired you, kindly share with your friends as well, they might learn one or two things from it. Thank you.