The constant dynamics in our world has once again brought to the fore the question: Who should be the leadership figure in the marriage? Issues like feminism, equal rights of both the male and the female gender have further heated up this debate. After all, some people would claim that God made man and woman equally and without disparity (Genesis 5:2), what then is it about this matter of leadership and submission that has been the bane of many marriages today? If there is no disparity, why couldn’t the woman also be the leader? But my assignment in this podcast is to show us that irrespective of what is happening in the world, the MAN remains the leader in marital relationship and I am going to show us Scriptural references that made this so.
Listen to Podcast: The Crux of Marriage Leadership: Who Should Be in Charge?
Let us begin from where the first union took place between the man and the woman. Genesis 2:24, the Bible says: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This statement as we see it here, is a statement of purpose, a statement of initiative, a statement of responsibility, a statement of accountability, and all these words (purpose, initiative, responsibility, accountability) are characteristics of a good leader. God said “a man shall leave his father and mother”, meaning, he shall depart from under his parent’s loins to go start his own family.
From here, we can clearly see that man absolutely; is the leader when it comes to marital relationships. He would take the initiative of leaving, he must be purposeful about it, he must be responsible and ultimately, he is accountable to God as far as the marriage is concerned. Again, Ephesians 5:23-24 says: “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
This Scripture further buttresses the point that the responsibility of providing leadership in the marriage is on the man and not the woman. 1 Corinthians 11:3 also says the same thing: “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” Did you see that now? Irrespective of what the society is saying today, under no circumstances should a woman be contesting in leadership roles with her husband. The man and the woman are expected to understand their roles and then operate within it. By understanding their roles, there will not be all these troubles we are witnessing today in matters relating to marriages.
Now, somebody may ask: What if the man is unavailable or unwilling to accept his leadership responsibilities since we have so many irresponsible men in the world today? Shouldn’t the woman step in? The woman can of course step in should there be any leadership lapses from the side of the man: whether in the aspect of finances and making provisions for the house. But in doing so, the woman must do it in honor as not to disrespect the leadership of her husband.
If situation and circumstances confer that leadership role on you as the woman, peradventure you are the breadwinner of your home, you should never see it as an avenue to make life miserable for your husband. Ephesians 5:33 says: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Irrespective of what happens, the word of God says that the wife must always see that she respects her husband. The Scriptures says concerning Sarah that she honors her husband, and she even calls him Lord (1Peter 3:6). It says further that if indeed you are from Sarah’s loins, then you would not disrespect the leadership or authority of your husband in the marriage.
So, the man is the leader in the marriage, irrespective of what the world preaches and I believe you have learnt something here that would help your marriage going forward.
I believe you have learnt something.
[Centre for New Dimension Leadership]
