I know the silent cry in the hearts of many people in any form of abusive relationship is how to quietly exit such relationship without being hurt. Unfortunately, many don’t get out without one form of hurt or the other. There are those who even pay the ultimate prize by losing their lives before they realize the need to get out.
There is absolutely no justification whatsoever for you to remain in an abusive relationship. Abuse, in whatever capacity or from, isn’t something one should bear. There is nothing whatsoever that should convince you to remain with a man or a woman who constantly berates you, abuse you in your relationship. Love is not even enough reason for you to consider a re-think to stay on.
So, why can’t you just leave; is the salient question that many people ask the abused. The truth is: leaving isn’t always as easy as many people (who happen to observe from a distance) think it is. Most times, a lady would remain with an abusive lover hoping that someday, he would repent. This is why women are the most affected in most abusive relationships. The reason is because many of them find it easy to forgive, to fall in love again and always in high anticipation that their man would change.
But the truth is; how much more do you want to be battered and abused before the change comes? This is why sometimes, it is often advised that one stay off this kind of relationships. But here is the challenge. Many don’t know “the how” to leave their abuser. So, in this piece, I am going to show some few tips that can help you walk out of any abusive relationship with little or no hurt whatsoever.
Tip One: If you are a lady/woman that happens to be in an abusive relationship with a man you aren’t married to yet (probably you both are still dating), the best way to walk out of such a relationship is by sincerely disengaging from such a man. And what do I mean by that? It means you walk out of that relationship knowing full well from your own heart that it is time to exit it. There is no need to be emotional about it. Call the man, tell him that you are disengaging from the relationship because of his incessant abuse on you.
When you are about to do this, don’t go to his house where the both of you would be alone to make this known. Let it be in a public place so that if he tries to attack you after you have made your intentions to leave known, people around can come to your rescue. This is absolutely important. But first, you must be sincere about you disengaging from him and from his abuse.
Tip Two: If you are a man in an abusive relationship and you want out, there is a way to go about it as well. Call the lady and appreciate her for all the time that you both had together. Then open up to her about your intentions to walk out of the relationship. There is no point forming hard feelings about this. The lady might find it very difficult to believe what you have just said to her, because many ladies/women who abused their male partners in their relationship happens to love them though, except that they can’t do without abusing them.
So, while making your intentions to leave her known, she may find it a little bit hard to believe you that you are leaving her, because deep down in her heart somewhere, she believes that the love she has for you should be enough for you to stay in the abusive relationship. But the truth is this: love isn’t enough really. While love covers multitudes of inadequacies in relationship, with the same love one can walk out of such abusive relationships. It is true that love edifies, but one should not hide under the guise of love to continue to suffer in silence. Think about this!
Tip Three: If it is possible, let there be one or two people who could witness the fact that you are leaving your abusive relationship and moving on. Although this may not be necessary, but there are times you need one or two witnesses who could attest to the fact that you actually did exit the relationship most especially, when things tend to want to take some ugly shape in the future. I once walked out of a relationship I think was heading nowhere after five years. But I did not just walked out just like that. I informed three key persons I knew was aware of that relationship and told them why I was walking out. The reason was because so that in the future, the said lady (because of her emotional attachment towards me and the relationship) wouldn’t deny that such a thing happened.
I believe these three tips would do you good if you are considering leaving that abusive relationship. Don’t go into the new year thinking you can tolerate your abusive partners. If you know that relationship isn’t heading anywhere, end it with this year so that you can begin a new year on a fresh page. Now, it is possible to think that walking out of a relationship is not that easy. Well, you may also want to consider whether staying in an abusive relationship is also easy as well. At the end of the day, whatever decision you make would either make or mare you. You just need to carefully think about it and weigh your options.
Have a blissful new year ahead!
Source: [Centre for New Dimension Leadership]
