By Rois Ola
It is not new that couples will argue all the time, could be serious issues or not so serious issues. The fact is it is a natural thing for both short term and long term relationships. There will always be disagreements based on difference in opinions, lifestyle, upbringing and so on, but there are times when it reaches a point where everything is starting to fall apart. This often leads to devastating breakups – but it doesn’t always have to end that way.
It may be easier said than done but it’s always important to have a little faith and ask these questions: Have you really done enough to save the relationship? Have you exhausted every possible option to say that it’s over? Is it really over? Is it possible to still push a little bit more? Is my partner even worth it? as in really?
So how can you save a failing and struggling relationship? Note that there are times you may feel “I just don’t love him/her anymore,” especially when life’s struggles begin to overwhelm you. Here are the tips to save your struggling relationship and keep the love alive. It may not apply to everyone. You may already be doing some of these things. But there is no harm in doing a little bit more with some kindness.
- Admit that mistakes have been made
This is probably the hardest, yet the most important part of saving a relationship. Admitting that one or even both of you have failed to do your part is not easy. In moments like this one, people tend to become stubborn and quickly activate their defence mechanism in order to avoid getting all the blame. Try to work together and start from there.
- Learn to negotiate and reach a compromise
Most of the reasons why people breakup can actually be remedied and solved through negotiation. Sure, this is not a business relationship but romantic relationships follow the same structure of what makes any good partnership last – regular communication and openness to compromise. Talk about what needs to be done, what you can do to accomplish them, and what you should stop doing.
- Establish an “honesty zone” and talk about what’s bothering you
Again, communication is important. But honest communication is more important and can dramatically mend an almost-breaking bond between two people. Being honest with each other and letting them know how you truly feel can be liberating and at the same time, it will let you both know what went wrong and what you can do to fix it.
- Remind yourself of the things that made you love your partner
Memories can bring the past back to life – and it can help you remember the things and emotions that seem to fade over time. Most of the time, couples become too busy and preoccupied with other things in life and forget the ones that matter. Remembering helps us realize that there was once a time when you were so happy and in love with that person – and the good thing is, you can bring that day back again.
- Spend a quiet and relaxing time together
Sometimes, you only need to stay away from the noise of daily life and just be together in a quiet place. The chaos of the big city might be making your head spin, or the stress of your job could make you feel that everything is wrong in your life. Relax, reboot, and do it with the person you love.
- Take a break from the daily routines of your relationship
What if you just need a break from everything? It’s a waste to end something so beautiful just because you were angry or tired from the routines of daily life. However, there are times when the demands of the relationship itself makes you feel exhausted. It’s normal but it doesn’t mean that it will be like that forever.
- Don’t try to change people according to what you think is best
You don’t decide what your partner should be or how they should act. All you can do is to guide them so that they won’t do things that could hurt themselves. It’s one of the most ruining part of every relationship when one person tries to control the other and aside from breaking their confidence apart, you are actually teaching your significant other to be ashamed and hate their true self. It’s unfair, don’t you think?
- Respect your differences
In relation to the section above, you have to respect your differences because you are two different people. No matter how perfectly matched you are in the zodiac sign department or if you think you’re soulmates, there will always be differences because you both have gone through a lot of things as well and experiences that shaped each of you as a person.
- Stop hurting each other
Arguments are normal and we sometimes say and do things that could hurt the other. Sometimes, when couples fight, they do and say hurtful things just to let it all out. Words can be wounding and sometimes it can cause permanent emotional trauma. If you think you cannot control your emotions during an argument, it’s not a good idea to talk. Find a way to release the negativity that you feel but not towards your partner.
- Don’t let them feel that you’ve given up
Have a little faith in every piece of what makes your relationship whole. Don’t give up on what you have too easily and learn to fight for it no matter how hurt or heartbroken you are. It’s okay to admit that you feel hopeless but never say that it’s over until it is really over. If your significant other feels that you’re not doing your part to fix it, then it could lead to a final and ultimate goodbye
- Ask the questions that you’ve never asked before.
When your relationship is at stake, learn to ask the right and most important questions. What should you do to fix it? What went wrong? Whatever happened to your promises of loving each other no matter what? What else can you do to save what you have?
- Open your heart and forgive more
This can be the hardest thing to do. Forgiving the person who have hurt you, the very person who promised to take care of you and to make you the happiest soul alive, can be the greatest sacrifice that you’ll ever offer to someone. However, this does not mean that you have to embrace martyrdom, to forget and forgive. It’s important to know your limits and your worth. Ask yourself these questions: is this person worth my forgiveness? Is this worth another chance?
