Experiencing Good Life: How Do I Forgive a Family Member Who Hurt Me Deeply?

Opening Scripture “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” — Matthew 18:21–22, NKJV   When the Wound Comes from Within There is no betrayal quite as devastating as one that comes from a family member. Whether it’s a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or extended relation, the pain of being hurt by someone who should have loved and protected you is uniquely deep. When outsiders hurt us, we often shake it off. But when family wounds us, the pain lingers. It haunts our memories. It distorts our identity. It paralyzes our ability to love and trust again. Yet in the midst of our grief, God commands us to forgive. But how?   Understanding What Forgiveness Truly Is Many people resist forgiveness because they misunderstand it. Let’s be clear: Forgiveness is not:

• • Saying the hurt didn’t happen.

• • Pretending everything is okay.

• • Forgetting the pain.

• • Allowing further abuse.

Forgiveness is:

• • Releasing your offender from the debt they owe you.

• • Surrendering your right to vengeance.

• • Choosing to walk free from bitterness and resentment.

• • Trusting God to be the righteous Judge.

  Why Forgiveness is Essential for the Believer

1. 1. It Reflects Christ’s Character. “Just as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” — Colossians 3:13

1. 1. It Heals Your Heart. Bitterness is poison to your soul. Forgiveness is the antidote.

1. 1. It Frees You Spiritually. Jesus warns, “If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.” — Matthew 6:15

1. 1. It Breaks Generational Curses. What you don’t forgive, you often repeat or pass down. Forgiveness ends the cycle.

  How to Forgive a Family Member Who Hurt You Deeply 1. Be Honest About the Hurt. God is not intimidated by your pain. He welcomes your transparency. Tell Him exactly how you feel. 2. Take it to the Cross. Jesus carried your pain. Don’t carry what He already bore. Lay it down. 3. Pray for Strength. You don’t have to feel like forgiving. Ask God for the grace to do it anyway. 4. Bless the Offender. Jesus said, “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you” (Matthew 5:44). It feels unnatural, but it is supernatural. 5. Trust God with the Outcome. Forgiveness doesn’t mean justice is denied. It means justice is transferred to the hands of a just God (Romans 12:19).   Biblical Example: Joseph’s Story Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers, sold as a slave, falsely accused, and imprisoned. Yet when he finally had the power to retaliate, he chose mercy. His words? “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” — Genesis 50:20 Forgiveness positioned Joseph for promotion. It can do the same for you.   Letting Go to Live Again Jesus’ words from the cross still echo today: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” — Luke 23:34 If Christ could forgive from the cross, then with His help, you can forgive from your pain. Not because they deserve it. But because Christ deserves your obedience. Not because they asked for it. But because you need freedom.   Call to Action Today, choose freedom over bitterness. Write a letter you don’t have to send. Pray for the one who hurt you. Speak the words: “I forgive you.” This is not weakness—it is strength. It is not defeat—it is deliverance. You were not created to be bound by pain. You were made to walk in Experiencing Good Life—and that life starts with a heart free from resentment.

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