This post has already been read 6705 times!
Let’s open our Bibles to Genesis, we will start from Genesis 1 and we will read verse 26-28, and then we will jump to chapter 2. Genesis 1:26, the Bible says:
Listen to Podcast: It Is Not Good For A Man To Be Alone!
“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
We have seen from verse 26 to verse 28; “Let us make man”, there is this agenda, man! And let that man be in our image, according to our likeness. Now, when this is done, let that man have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air and over everything that creeps on the earth. This is the agenda. But in verse 27, something happened in the middle. The Bible says; “God created that man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.” So, the matter began with him and latter it went to them. Don’t forget, many things that we read in this verse 1, there is a way it can get us confused. But we must understand that the Bible was written after Eve had been created. So, we can be seeing how God started with Adam; “him”, and then “them” that’s when the wife eventually came on board.
So, we understand that the agenda of God initially came to man – ‘him’ and then God said to them. So, what I say to one I say to all. Let’s jump to Genesis 2 let’s see verse 7. “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” The man that God ordained to dominate the earth, to exercise authority on the earth, to do the work of leadership, the work of managing the space called earth. The Bible says; God formed him out of the dust of the ground released His breath into him and so the man became a living being. The man began to live. So, we can see from verse 8 and verse 15, how God took the man, initially God planted a garden east ward in Eden, then later Bible says God took the man and put him in the garden, and the Lord did not do it so that he can be sleeping around in the garden, it says to tend it and to keep it. This is a very serious responsibility.
So, when God looks at the man from heaven, God is looking at a man that He has committed a responsibility of tending the earth and keeping it. So, if the earth is not well tended and well kept, it is the man that will be held solely responsible. So, God would not look at the earth that is not working and blame the shark in the sea, or blame the eagle in the air, God would not blame the lion and trees. God wouldn’t blame the angels for the malfunctioning of the earth. God will blame the man whom He has given the responsibility, we can call it exclusive responsibility of tending and keeping the earth. So, man had been given the responsibility in Genesis 2 verse 15. So, let’s go to verse 16. “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” Verse 18; “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man whom I have made in my image and likeness, whom I have given the responsibility of tending and keeping the earth, the man whom I have given dominion over the space called earth. It is not good for this mighty creature to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
I have the privilege of preaching this message because currently my wife has travelled and so in the house physically speaking, I am alone. So, when do you think I can preach this message different from now? God had been creating things and many other things earlier, right from chapter 1 of Genesis and God had been confirming that what He had been creating had been good. In fact, when God was done making man too, He saw that it was good too. However, haven committed responsibility to man, haven helped the man to find the purpose to live for because there was a time Dr. Myles Munroe said; the first thing a man should find is not a wife, it is to find a purpose because that is what you will preoccupy yourself with over the course of your life.
Many people have said men are work oriented, women are relationship oriented. If you are a work oriented being, why should you not find that work first? Because if you don’t find the work first and you find relationship, your relationship will be idle. And there will be issues. So, if you don’t want an idle partner around your life who is daily complaining and looking at you, my husband what are we here for? So, the first thing to find as a man is to find your purpose. So, God had given the purpose to the man, God had given the job to the man. So, the man had been commissioned for relevance, influence and authority on the earth. In that state, not in the state of ignorance, not when he was idle, or a nobody. It was in that state when he knew what to do daily, he already has a burden from God, there was a basis for God to measure him whether he was effective or ineffective, there was something that God was going to look to measure his greatness on the earth.
Then God said; lest I judge this man beyond measure. Because there is a weight I have already put on him, and obviously as it looks now, he is not able to carry this weight. He needs help. Because if God says a man is not good alone, it is not relevant what any man says to him. If God says it is not good for me to be alone, I don’t care what a man is saying, or a woman is saying about that state. If God looks at me now and says it is not good for me to be alone, and you look at me and say I look good being alone, then your statement is irrelevant. What is relevant? Let God be true on every subject and every man a liar. So, irrespective of what some groups of people could be saying in the world today about celibacy, what did God say? The one who made all things at the beginning, there was a time Jesus said to the people, it was not so in the beginning. So, we wouldn’t be following people and abandon what was so in the beginning.
The one who made all things at the beginning, who also defined the end of everything must be the one that must be listened to. And God said; it was not because man sinned. He did not sin. He was in a perfect state of being. So, if you look at your life now and you see yourself being perfect, everything is working out for your good, you think well, God speaks to you, you pray God hears you, you are in a perfect state. At this perfect state of yours, God said it is not good for you to be alone. So, let’s move on, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Now, we have seen this aspect, in fact, immediately afterwards the Bible says; out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what He would call them, and whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.
So, from the time God said it was not good, Adam still continued to do work. So, Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But! When you hear ‘but’ there is a problem. Everything is flourishing, his career moving well, it was doing fine but there is a ‘but’ in his life. But for Adam there was not found a helper not in the animals, not in the trees, not in the sea, there was not found a helper comparable to him. The problem or the challenge was still persisting. The issue in his life was still there, even though he has begun to do his ministry, he had started pursuing the purpose of God for his life, he was still having challenges. God said there was not found a helper for him. So, we know what happened afterwards, what God did. Let us quickly run over what God did.
In Genesis 2:21, the Bible says: “And the Lord God haven realized over and over that it was not good for this man to be alone, the Lord God cause a deep sleep to fall on Adam. It is recently that I am understanding on the surface the implication of that deep sleep. When the Bible qualified a sleep to be deep, you know there is a serious matter. Because the normal thing is that many people sleep. And when they are sleeping and you walk around them, they don’t know. You can even touch them and they don’t know. The Bible says deep sleep, so I equated it to coma. He was breathing but he was not active. “And he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.” The Bible went on in details on the operation that took place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. See verse 25, the last part of where we are reading. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
I want us to note the word ‘both’ because it has implication for the things we will be looking at. They were both naked! The experiences of the man and his wife were same. We can conclude they were also in the same place. We can also conclude that they were not just in the same place, they were doing the same things. When you hear the word ‘both’, it joins things together. Bible says they were both naked, so ‘A’ was naked, ‘B’ was naked. ‘A’ was in the house, ‘B’ was in the house. We can say myself and somebody, we were both in the room, both on the bed. There are some assumptions that are embedded in this both naked. Beyond us just looking at nakedness as a word, let’s look at the both that carries in it more weight than we give to it. They were not just only naked; they were also in the same place. They were not just both in the same place, they were both doing the same things. So, perhaps they were going to same places, doing same things, having similar experience every time.
Now, when Adam and Eve sinned, and God came down and God was asking Adam why did you do this? Adam said the woman that you gave to be with me. So, she needed to be with me, she was with me. So, we can understand what I was drawing out from that both naked; they were also with themselves. Let’s go Ecclesiastes 3 we will read verse 1-2. We will start from that chapter 3 so that we would build on it in chapter 4. It says; “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted.” The point I want us to note there is a time for every purpose under earth. To everything there is a season. So, there could be a season when perhaps, it was good for a man to be alone, and when that season ceases, and it is no more at the season where the man should be alone, if the man should be alone in the season when he shouldn’t be alone, there would be a problem.
The point is; there is nobody that is born married. For Adam, because of the way he was created by God, we assumed he was born married. He was not even born married. Even though he was created and he looks matured, he still had time to grow. There was a window between the time he was alone and the time God gave him a wife. But haven been given a wife, he must therefore not be without a wife again. Let me come again. There was a window for Adam to be without a wife, that was because he was just “born.” He was growing. And God saw that this man that is growing that has been able to find the purpose of God for his life, he wouldn’t succeed with that purpose alone. God created a woman and brought her to him. Since he has now married the woman, he was not excepted not to marry or to remain married. Since he has been joined to the woman, since the woman has come to be with him, there was never a time that he was not expected to be with that woman.
Now, let’s go to chapter 4, it is in this chapter that we will be picking up issues much more directly. Ecclesiastes chapter 4: 9-12. “Two are better than one.” Look at this statement before we go on. According to the Bible, king Solomon was the wisest man before the birth of Jesus. Because Jesus said greater than Solomon is here with you. So, until Jesus came, Solomon was the wisest. And Solomon said two are better than one. If Solomon had realized perhaps through his research, observation and inquiries, he has realized that even though he is a king, he has come to agree that two are better than one. He didn’t ask: are two better than one? He declared it. He said two are better than one. See the first reason why two are better than one. “Because they have!” Because means the reason. Because they have a good reward for their labor. Not their labors. They have a good reward for their labor. They work together to achieve a goal and since they are walking together, they have good reward. Not good ‘rewards’, what do we see there? Is it good reward for their labors? For their labor!
Two are better than one because they have a good reward, not just a reward, they have a multiplying reward, a greater reward for their labor. So, if you know this, you must therefore tell yourself, this two the Bible is talking about, is it talking about two on paper or two in reality? Let’s start our thinking from there. There is something the Holy Spirit has helped me to understand that I want to help us to understand it. It said two are better than one, is it two on paper or two in reality. If you say myself and brother Francis are one, that doesn’t make us one. If we now sign a paper and say I and Mr. Francis are one from now henceforth, does it make us one? What really makes us one? Being together! Marriage certificate doesn’t make people one. The impression of people, the assumption of people should be bro John and his wife.
What people say is not what makes people one. What people think is not what joins a man with his wife. That’s not what makes them one. It is their being together. It says; two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. So, you do something the person is doing the same thing. You are both doing thing together. Because you must not forget that in the beginning, even though we are trying to embrace new, even though we are trending and pursuing twenty first century, we must not forget what God has ordained. If it had worked in the beginning and it is not working now, there must be something that is wrong with how we are working the thing now. Do you think the infidelity and the divorce we see in our generation was there in the days of Noah, Abraham, Noah, Adam etc.? Was it there? Did you read it? And Adam divorced his wife and went for another. But we see it today.
If divorce is recurring in our generation, what is fueling it? If infidelity is increasing, what is encouraging it? Have we deviated in pursuit of greener pasture, trending technology, trending patterns, trying to catch up with the western world, trying to catch up with the Chinese or whatever? Have we now abandoned the thing that was laid down at the beginning? Because if we have abandoned it, all we will be doing is fire fighting to keep the fire of the marriage off. This fire is the negative fire; not the fire of love. Fire of crisis, to try to kill the fire every day. Why? The system we have created or have recreated is a deviation from the ideal. It says two are better than one. If a man leaves his father and a woman leaves her father and joins to his wife, if they do not have shared labor; let’s look at that, if the two that have left, they are married, maybe they have been married for like a month and for one reason or the other one needs to go somewhere and the other go elsewhere. And they are not laboring together, can they have a reward?
Let’s go to verse 10, it says; “for if they fall one will lift up his companion.” So, we can see this element of companionship. Companionship! It says if they fall! The issue is “if they fall.” “if” is a probability. It says “one will lift up his companion, but woe” and I am sure we know woe. The last time Jesus mentioned woe, it was something unpleasant, woe to Chorazin, for if the things that were done in you were done in Sodom and Gomorrah they would have repented. Jesus was not playing with them. It’s like a curse. Woe to him who is alone when he falls. Now, there is a replacement of if with when. Meaning that it is a matter of probability for two people to fall, but it’s a matter of time for one person to fall. If you have two people, you can tell yourself this people may fall, they may not fall. But if you have one person, wait patiently the person will fall according to the Bible, it’s a matter of time.
It says woe to him who is alone when he falls. So, it means he was not expected to be alone. Of course, God started in Genesis by saying it is not good for a man to be alone, and the man that he was talking about was a king, a ruling man, a man in authority. It is not good for a man in authority, who has found a purpose to live for to be alone. That was what God saw, and we believe that the solution to that was that the man should marry. And as long as he is married on paper and everybody sees him to be married, he is no more alone. So that we don’t get confused, the Bible now says in Ecclesiastes chapter 4:10, it says; “woe to him who is alone” In our mind lets erase the following words after alone, we can stop there. Let us not even look at whether it falling at 6:00Am or 12:00Pm let’s leave the time.
Just look at it “woe to him who is alone.” It didn’t say to her, it said, him. We are still dealing with the man God said it wasn’t good for him to be alone. So, if God in His almightiness says something is not good, he knows there is a problem. When you get married, don’t tell yourself, I have married, they have taken us to the alter, I have a ring, there is a ring in his hand. The question is; are you going to make sure he is never alone? This is where the burden is for everyone that wants to get married; can you even make sure that your partner can never be alone. Can you look at God in the eye and say God give me that woman she will never be alone? Now let’s look at the women, can they also tell God Give me that man, like give me that mountain, the way Caleb and Joshua said it. Give us that mountain. Can you say give me that brother, he looks fervent in the Lord, give me that brother, if you can give him to me, I will make sure he is never alone. Because the Bible says if he becomes alone haven married, woe to him. The Bible says when he falls there would be no one. Let’s look at it literally, when he falls, he has no one to lift him up. Can we see the word that was used there? “Help him up” He needs help to get back up, so, if there is no one to help him back up, what happens? He remains on the ground.
How many people are legally married and they are on the ground in life? Can we do those statistics? Are we not going to be tired? Now, in 2022 the Federal Government wants to do census in Nigeria, I wonder why but let’s leave it to them. Can they do a census of those who are married and are on the ground? How many Nigerians will be left that will not be counted among those who are on the ground? Let me digress a little. A man of God at our church that we have been for a long time, he just came back from USA and instead of him to go to somewhere in the Southern part of Nigeria where he is based, he came to Abuja to minister in song. And he was like he wouldn’t be long here because it’s been like two weeks he left his wife, the way he is feeling now, he needs to go to his wife. That was what the man said. Now, thinking about what he said and what I have here; I am like woe is him that is alone. The man is like; I can’t risk another day; I need to go home. Let’s look at it from what it is in the beginning, would the man have said that if the woman travelled with him to USA and together, they came to Abuja?
Leave the practicality of that, that’s for our generation to solve. So, we can choose, do I want to solve this reality problem or do I want to accept or embrace the failures, the challenges that it throws at me. You are the one that can now work out the logistics of that possibility. If the man had travelled to the USA with his wife and travel to Abuja with his wife, he would have been calm, he would have spent a longer time. But he said he needs to be in a hurry because the way he is feeling, he needs to go home. I remember those days in OAU, how bro Gbile comes, did you ever hear a word of let somebody shout hallelujah from his wife? The woman follows him not to take the pulpit, she follows because it is not good for a brother to be alone.
There must be something very serious that will make the wife not to accompany. The wife is not accompanying just to sit down there and be praying. It is not good for him to be alone. Let the wife forget about herself at this moment. The Bible didn’t say it’s not good for her, The Bible says it is not good that that man should be alone. So, if you love him what do you do? Stay with him. If you cannot do it, don’t get married to him. It is not good, if God say something is not good, don’t try to make it good. So, we have seen number one; when they have one labor, they will have good reward for their labor. When they go together, the chance that they may fail or fall is very slim. And if that ever happens, one will help the other up. Somebody will help somebody.
Have you noticed that it is always difficult for the husband and the wife to get angry at the same time? I don’t know why God has ordained it like that, that’s the reality. In a normal setting the both cannot get angry at the same time. One calms the other down. Maybe the wife is angry with the youth in the church and the husband is telling the wife, my wife be calming down. The husband is angry with the choir members; my husband be calming down. But woe to that man of God who is alone. Because he will be angry with the choir and there would be nobody to tell him calm down.
There is something I heard from one of these motivational speakers about a particular king in Europe, he was very great in his own time, it was Rome; and people always hail him; hail Caesar! You are god, you are not man. That particular emperor decided to hire somebody who goes with him everywhere he goes to, if he is on the chariot, the guy is hiding in the chariot, so when everybody outside is saying hail Caesar, you are god you are not man, the greatest, the most wonderful. So, the other will be saying remember you are a man. I heard it from Dr. Mensah Otabil, remember you are a man. So, the tendency assuming he was alone is to fall into the sin of Herod. When they were hailing Herod the king, this is the voice of god not the voice of man, and it got into him. So, woe to him because he was alone. If he had a responsible wife, he would have been saying you are a man.
When you see married people that are really pompous in life, they are not properly married. Whether a woman or a man. Because, pomposity is supposed to be dealt with in the marriage. It is either the person is coming to you even though you are pompous to help you softly or the person is coming very hard to help you hardly but the person must help you. Either your husband or your wife not to be pompous and full of yourself because there is no room for that. Because, a marriage can’t flourish in that atmosphere. If you have a correct marriage, that should be treating your pride. But woe to that brother who is alone, because when he is pompous there is no woman to calm him down.
Verse 11 says; “Again if two lie down together”, did we see they may keep warm? What do we have? For those of us that are not reading NKJV, we can keep quiet. It says; “they will keep warm”, that’s a definite statement. “But how can one be warm alone?” This is something that Solomon does not know. It’s like I don’t have an idea; I don’t know how one can be warm alone. But if two lie down, they will keep warm. So, a brother has been married to his wife, but the brother has now been transferred to another place, the wife transferred to another place, so they both sleep, how have they been keeping warm over the last three years? They should come to the church to educate us. Were they using cloths to cover? How long will cloth help you? We are looking at those that are married here, circumstance has made them to be unmarried. Marriage is not on paper; I keep saying this. I think I might have to keep saying this until I leave this earth. Marriage is not on paper, marriage is reality. Married or unmarried is not about circumstance, it’s not about before, it’s about now.
For example, this is half of my Bible, this is the other half, they are married, that’s why I have one Bible but it is broken into two segments. So, if I cut this place and I send this one to the people in Jos, I say Jos people needs to read this, I send this one to Lagos, are they still married? No, they are unmarried, they are unbounded together, they are not joined. So, how can you keep warm when you are alone? Because once you find that reason, please quickly send it as an email to Solomon he will need to distribute it to the world. So, you must not fool yourself as a man, and tell yourself no problem it’s just three weeks, I should be fine, what if you not fine? What happens? You have entered that state of woe to him who is alone. You left with the assumption that you will be fine, you ended up not being fine, what happens? These are realities.
So, originally Adam said; the wife you gave to be with me, so as long as she is with me, we keep warm. So, if I stay away from her, how do I keep warm? I will be fine! How many people have said they will be fine and they have never been fine? So, if God begins to unveil things that has happened across the world about people who said they will be fine and they are never fine, do you know we will have billions? So, what happens? Is that the solution? Is the solution I will be fine? The solution is stay together. When I got married, there was a place I was, but my wife was transferred before our wedding day to Katsina, I had the decision to make, and it was not difficult for me. I had revelation in those days, I didn’t struggle. Because it was about whether I want to stay where I was comfortable, where I can climb through the ladder, or I would follow nothing and obey the word. So, my decision was made; I wouldn’t stay in Abuja and say I would be coming to you in the weekends, I would be coming to you in every two weeks, once in a month. I didn’t say that; what I did was that I followed. I heard a story of a friendly family who were in a similar state, maybe after our own. Instead of the husband to follow, the husband stayed, the wife also stayed. And they are married now for about five years and they have been like that. So, the husband travels almost every weekend or after two weeks across many states to see the wife.
If you look at them on paper, they are married, if you see the man, you will think he is fine, but if you probe into the marriage, you will see a lot of issues. It now looks like you pass around a septic tank and you are fine nothing is smelling, but have you opened the vent? Is that the marriage that God ordained? Vent covered smell? There should be no smell. Keep warm together. When you are asking a woman if she will marry you, ask her can you keep me warm for the rest of my life? 365 days in a year, can you, do it? Maybe after marrying you I will live for another 50 years, while we are on earth; can you do it? If the woman cannot do it, don’t force her. As a woman if you cannot do it, don’t also jump into it.
The last thing is verse 12. It says; “though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.” So, when one man is confronted by an opposition, the Bible says that opposition can over power him, but two will surely overcome the opposition. So, you are a super hero when it comes to spiritual warfare, you fight a lot of battles, what will guarantee your sustenance over the course of your life that you will not be hurt is not just that you are a super human, you like to pray, or superman, you like to pray, when you pray heaven fall down, will that continue forever? Get married!
So, even though you pray and God hears you as a man of God, you still need another to pray with you. Another to contend with the forces against your destiny together. Don’t forget we are dealing with same labor, same reward. So, when the woman comes into your life, and she understands her purpose and placement towards the destiny, she must therefore stand her ground to fight with you, so that the reward that both of you are looking at; Bible says for the joy that was set before Jesus, He endured the cross, He despised the shame. So, haven conceived the understanding that there is a joy ahead of us as a marriage, I therefore as your wife, I take my place in contending against the forces against your destiny. Because if a man marries a woman who is not willing to contend like this, the man will still be married on paper, and he will be overpowered in life.
How many married people are under the oppression of darkness? The list is almost endless. So, when God had ordained this marriage, to be a means for our sustenance, stability, survival and safety, we are still married but we are not surviving, we don’t have stamina, we are not safe. So, what’s wrong? It’s either the man is not there to join a woman or a woman is not there to join a man, they are apart. So, one man is in Kano, the other woman is in Lagos, and so they pray every night. Imagine that the husband is tired, the wife says let’s pray and the husband is sleeping, even though they are doing video call, does video call stop the wife from sleeping? Forget about the virtual call, he is still alone in that house. The wife may be feeling insecure in Kano; the husband is sleeping in Lagos.
So, their prayer that is supposed to be for hours is now 10mins, 5mins how potent could that be? Except there is an extra ordinary reason, it is not ordained by God. Even if you could see it being practiced even in the church. A pastor is being transferred to Ekiti; the wife is in Osun state. Matters get worse when one ministry transfers the wife to Ekiti and the husband has been transferred by another ministry to Osun state. They are both doing ministry but they are so apart. So, the woman in this place is a pastor and a pastor of a church, her husband is not there, she has the children, the husband is a pastor in Osun state, his wife is not there, his children is not there, and he is leading women, he is leading children. The husband can’t challenge the women when they can’t see his wife. The Ministry is not effective. A lot of faking can go on.
So, even though ministry could give you room to tell yourself I want to be here and he would be there, that’s not ordained by God. Give me a Bible that supports it. I have been reading the Bible since I was young, I haven’t found where it is written. So, if you have found it, show me. We will examine the second leg of this message in another message, that would be solely dedicated to the women. This part is for the men, and I believe we saw it from the beginning, when the title was mentioned: It Is Not Good for A Man to Be Alone. Some women that are privileged to listen to this, they are listening for their husbands. Their own dose would come in the second leg of this message.
Article Source: [Centre for New Dimension Leadership]
