Marriage In The 21st Century: Some Problems and How to Overcome Them

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The world has never stopped evolving since the time God spoke it into existence thousands of decades ago. And, these evolution; brought with it its numerous challenges. Marriage as we know is one the oldest institutions in the world. It came almost about the time when the world itself was formed. Marriage as we know, originally began as God’s idea for the man He had made. We read in Genesis how God contemplated about how it was never a good idea for the man He had made to be alone, and so; He made an help meet for him in the person of the woman. He brought the woman to the man, gave them certain instructions and then; marriage began.

However, since time had never remained static for once, and the world itself had evolved over times; marriage as an institution has however, had its own share of the changing times. Many today have deviated from the original tenets of marriage and have created for themselves their own kind of marriages. Just like Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:3-4, it says “For the time will come when they (people) will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and turned aside to fables.” As regarding the matters of marriage in our world today, this is that time Apostle Paul was talking about. The institution of marriage has been watered down to suits peoples agenda, the times and the seasons they live in.

As a result of this, you see men and men marrying each other, women to women getting married as well. But from the beginning, it was not so! The world had so much evolved to the point that certain norms and tradition of the devil, ministered to certain men; had become the order of the day in some parts of the world. Homosexuality has been institutionalised; homosexuals have gone to that point of getting ‘married’ legally; and there are even churches for gay and lesbian folks.

Going to the crux of this piece; 21st century marriages and their problems. What are the things, or ideas that are creeping into marriages; and that have made it an uninteresting venture to be considered by people nowadays?

The first matter we would be addressing here is the issue of feminism, and how it is turning many marriages and homes into a mini war zone. Across the world today, women are trying all their possible best to be at par or equal with their husbands all in the name of feminism. The original idea behind feminism initially has nothing to do in homes and marriages. The reason being that, marriage from the very beginning has laid down tenets and what it is expected of the man and the woman in it.

The global idea of feminism refers to the belief that men and women deserve equality in all opportunities, treatment, respect, and social rights. But the question is this: In marriage, is there any iota of inequality between the man and the woman? of course not! The husband and the wife sure have equal rights. God’s instruction in marriage is that the two shall become one flesh. In other words, what the husband owns, the wife owns it. What the wife owns, the husband owns it as well.

In the eyes of God, the husband and the wife are one and they are equal. When the idea begins to come to the woman that she needs to compete with her husband in every area in the marriage, that is where the problem creeps in. Marriage is a fusion of two becoming one. I mean, one can only be equal to one. One can never be equal to two and two can never be equal to one, one is one always and all the time. The notion of trying to ensure and effect equality in marriage would only be an effort in futility and it clearly shows a lack of understanding about marriage from any woman trying so hard to enforce such an idea into her home. Feminism has no place in marriage, only the word of God has.

Another challenge most marriages face in the 21st century is the issue of divorce. Statistics on divorce across the globe are alarming. The most prevailing factors giving rise to this problem are infidelity in marriage, domestic violence, incompatibility, and couples in-ability to reconcile their differences. Now, a deeper look into the word of God addresses some of these matters already.

Now the root cause of infidelity in many marriages is hinged on a number of factors. The truth is that neither of these factors should ever be taking for justifying the act in the first place, as they are issues that could be addressed if those involved agree to the fact that they need help. One of the lame excuses people give is the fact that they lack satisfaction in their spouses. So, because they are not getting the necessary satisfaction in their spouses, they go elsewhere to get it. But the word of God is clear as regarding this matter.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honour, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” Note the phrase…”For this is the will of God..” In other words, it is the will of God for you, whether you are married or not; to possess you vessel that is; your body in sanctification. This is why it is important that you know the will of God first, concerning marriage, before embarking on it. A man who cannot control or possess his own vessel or body, will go about committing adultery, even in marriage. Many today are finding it difficult to control their sexual appetite. Their husband or their wife cannot satisfy them and so, they go about messing around with other people outside of their marital vows.

What such actions depicts is simply a lack of understanding. When you understand what the will of God says, some of these excuses that give rise to divorce in marriages would never materialise in your marriage.

As a man, you will know and understand how you ought to love your wife, because when you love your wife; you will not raise your finger against her, or abuse her in whatever form. Domestic abuse and violence in marriages is prevalent because many men have not learnt the art of loving, just as Christ love the church. What you love, you nurture and cherish; what you love you don’t abuse. Love put asides every differences in your spouse, and embrace him or her as she is or as he is. A woman on the other hand, who understands the art of submission would know how she ought to treat and honour her own husband. The Bible recorded of Sarah, that she called her own husband ‘Lord’. That is what submission does!

This is why we admonish people not to rush into marriage, but understand what the will of God says concerning it first. The Bible is the will of God, study it; understands what it says about marriage; and don’t be fooled by what is going on in the world.

God bless you.

Source: [Centre for New Dimension Leadership]

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