Times and Seasons in Marriage

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The focus of this article is on marriage and we will be looking at “Times and Seasons in Marriage.” When I bring the Word of God, by His grace, I love to make it applicable as possible to different areas of our lives. Even though our focus is on marriage, this same principle of the Word of God can be applied to understanding times and seasons in different areas of our lives. But our focus is on marriage “times and seasons in marriage”. I want us to start from Acts chapter 1:7, Jesus made a very important statement here; this was when the Holy Spirit was promised and Jesus had mentioned to His disciples that they should tarry, and receive power; that was the conversation. But prior to this, He said to them in verse 7; “And He said to them, when they asked Him, Lord, will You at this time (they were referring to a particular time) restored the kingdom to Israel, and He said to them, it is not for you to know times or seasons, which the Father has put in His own authority”.

 

Listen to Podcast: Times and Seasons in Marriage

 

Now, we’re starting from here, so that I can quickly put a disclaimer out; that what Jesus was referring to here was contextual. Jesus did not say be ignorant of times and seasons, Jesus was not referring to general times and seasons, it was born out of a question, they asked Jesus, Lord, will You at this time, restore the kingdom to Israel? And He said to them, it is not for you to know times or seasons, meaning that there are times and seasons which are fixed under God’s authority. In fact, all times and seasons are fixed under God’s authority, but God in His mercy reveals times and seasons to us. So, Acts chapter 1:7, let us know that God has times and seasons fixed in His authority. So, there’s something called Times and Seasons which Jesus also attested to here. But let us look at the origin of times and season. How did God create times and seasons? How did times and seasons come about?

Genesis chapter 1:14-18, “Then God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens, to divide the day from the night. So the first division was day and night, and let them be, let these divisions introduce something that has never been on the face of the earth before; He said let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years, and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens, to give light on the earth, and it was so. Then God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also, He set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth and to rule over the day and over the night, to divide the light from darkness and God saw that it was good”.

So, when God introduced times and seasons, it was not a bad thing; God saw that the introduction of times and seasons is for good. So, what are the times? The times signifies the division that God created between day and night. What are we supposed to do with times and seasons? Why is times and seasons so crucial in our journey as human beings? Why is it that times and seasons cannot be taken away from our lives? I want us to see what Jesus said in John chapter 9:4, “Jesus said, I must work the works of Him, who sent Me while it is day; the night is coming when no one can work.”  So, when God created the times and the seasons, when God created the day and night, it was good. So, the first understanding we must receive is that, times, talk about the day and night God created in Genesis chapter one; there is none that is bad: day or night. That someone may say, I prefer to have day seasons all my life or another person may say, I prefer to have night seasons all my life, when God saw what He created, it was good; so, there was nothing wrong in it, there’s nothing bad in it.

What is the wisdom in the creation of God? Jesus mentioned here, He said, I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day. What are the characteristics of day? The Greater light is ruling, it is a time when visibility is not hampered, you don’t need to provide an extra source of light; there is a natural source of light: that is day. Day is the time when you have resources naturally available to you, you don’t have to create your own resources to be able to do anything during the day. For example, during the day, which runs and ends between 6am and 6pm, you have light without external source, you have heat without external source, that is day. So, Jesus is saying, while God has made resources available, I have the strength which God has made available naturally; He said, I must walk, that’s what I must do.

In marriage, we must understand times, there is day and there is night. In every marriage, there is day and there is night, there’s nothing bad with the day and there is nothing wrong with the night. But you must understand what you should do in the day and you should understand what you do in the night; in the day: you must work. The natural resources that God has made available, you must put them to work, the strength that God has made available, the vitality that God has made available, the youthfulness that God has made available, you must put it to work; that is what Jesus adviced, I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day. It’s also a counsel for marriages. You must invest in your marriage in the day, you must give time to your marriage in the day. The day time is the time you sow into your marriage, the day time is the time you make sure you deposits into your marriage; that’s work.

Every marriage requires this daytime experience, will have this daytime opportunity, what do you make of your daytime? How are you maximizing your daytime? Jesus said the reason I must work quickly in the day, make use of My day, is because the night is coming. I cannot pray the night away, I cannot wish it away, I cannot turn it into a prayer point or a fasting topic; the night is coming, it is sure. And He said what happens in the night when no one can work? Even though you desire to work, the atmosphere is not conducive. Even though you desire to work, the resources are not there. So, we understand that in every marriage, there is day and there is night; the same thing with our lives, we have our daytime and our nighttime, and that is why sometimes when it looks as if we have wasted time, God is a God of second chance.

God actually in His mercy can turn situations around and give us another opportunity. Bible says when the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? That is what happens when we don’t maximize our time. A man that refuse to maximize his time, is a man that have decided to waste his life. A woman that have decided not to maximize her time is a woman that have decided to waste her life because the currency of our life is in time.

Day and night, everyday, you are getting older. Day and night, every day you are advancing closer to the time when God will call you home. So, you can’t keep procrastinating, for example; I will sow into my marriage tomorrow, I will do it next tomorrow, next year I will have the opportunity: do it now. Jesus said I must work, it is compulsory; the daytime is not a time to sleep; it is a time to work. You sleep in the nights after you have worked in the day. That’s why the Bible says that the sleep of the laborer is sweet. If you have labored nothing, you are just sleeping; a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands, He said that’s how poverty will pounce on your marriage. The work you put in your marriage in the day will give you rest in the night, it will make your rest sweet in the night. So, we understand that every marriage has the day and the night and what we must do with the day.

What is the second understanding we must have? Let’s see Genesis chapter 8:22, “While the earth remains (see declaration of God) seed time and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, and day and night shall not cease; they won’t stop, they will continue to occur: when you have a repeated occurrence, is it to pray for the occurrence to stop or know what to do with what is occurring? It is foolishness when you have a repeated occurrence and not able to track it, not able to know why does this happen; So, when it happens again, what should I do? Seed time and harvest will not stop, cold and heat will not stop; so, every marriage will have their seed time and harvest, it won’t stop; cold and heat will occur in every marriage, winter and summer will occur in every marriage.

There is a season of seed time, there is a season of harvest. What does it mean when it is seedtime? What do you do? Your marriage is a fertile piece of land that God has given to you. God will not plant on that land, what God has given you is the land. What God gave Adam was a wife, how you will cultivate and build your wife is left to you, in fact, God did not give the woman a name, Adam had to name the woman (seedtime). What do you call what God has given you in your marriage? How do you name it, what do you call it? How do you cultivate it? How do you nurture it? And that is why, when God was going to test Adam, he did not give him a wife first. God planted a garden eastward in Eden then puts the man that He had formed, he puts him in the garden to tend and keep it.

When God monitored his progress, ( he has been alone that time) God now said, it is not good that this man will keep tending and keeping this garden alone, I will make a help comparable to him. Then God brought the woman (what was his assignment when God brought the woman) to also tend and keep her, and that’s why when Adam was complaining to God, God, is it not this woman that you gave to be with me that caused all these, we were fine, You and I were fine alone. God was not going to take that excuse; because your assignment was to tend and keep her, in the times and the seasons I have left two of you together, what were you doing? You have a responsibility in your marriage to tend and keep as a man, you have the responsibility as a woman in your marriage to help that man, tend and keep everything that God has placed in his hand, and that is what you must give your time to in sowing; you must sow towards it. What are you sowing? what you sow will determine what you reap. The Bible says you cannot have a bad tree and expect a good fruit; meaning that whatever you give is what you will receive.

The second one is cold and heat. Why is this season important? There is a time when there will be cold, you can’t pray away the cold. What do you do? Amos 3:3, the Bible says, can two walk together except they agree. If there is no agreement, two of you will feel cold. God forbid that cold will kill you in your marriage when two of you have each other. Amos chapter 3 says, can one keep warm alone? No! you need the other party, so when you are in your cold season, are you alone? Woe to that man who is alone in his marriage, woe to that woman who is alone in her marriage; you can’t afford to be alone. And when there is heat what should you do? You create an atmosphere. Cold is a different season, what you do in that season is not what you do in heat, there are some relationships that you lock together in that season; two of you must lock together in every sense, you must not be found separated, you must lock together in the place of prayer, in the place of growth, in the place of the study of the word. You must be growing together, you must be living that life of God together. And when there is heat, you create room for air. It is not a time to lock together, you create room for air, so the two of you will survive. So these are the significance of these seasons.

Then, there is winter and there is summer. When there is winter, there are a lot of snow, a lot of cold, a period where two of you are not going anywhere you are locked inside together. What are you doing in your winter season? Don’t pray against the winter season, it is required for your bonding. For you to bond in your marriage, you require winter, don’t make your marriage an all summer time marriage; always going out, always outside. When do you bond? When do you cement the marriage? When do the bond and the oneness happen? These are the different seasons in marriage and they are all relevant, don’t pray it away, there are sometimes that God will deliberately allow some families to go through a financial crisis so that they can experience winter; it is not because God is wicked, it is so that you can maximize that season, and make that marriage fulfill destiny. Because God knows if you don’t have winter in that marriage, that marriage will not fulfill destiny.

So, we’ve looked at time, day and night, and also season and I want to see a Scripture in Galatians, while we’re still looking at seasons, then we’re going to look at what is the counsel of God for marriages, as it regards to times and seasons. Galatians chapter 6:7-10, “Do not be deceived (husbands and wives, spouses, people that are going into the marriage institution) God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows that he will also reap.” (If you did not sow pineapple in your marriage, you can’t reap it; if you did not sow orange in your marriage, you can not reap it.) “For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”  In your marriage, if all the sowing you are doing is to the flesh; the Bible says you will of the flesh reap corruption but he said if you sow to the Spirit, you will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. If you’re in your seed time, and all that you are sowing in your marriage is to the flesh; carnality. You’re not coming together for spiritual rejuvenation, you are not coming together to grow together in the Word, you are not coming together to settle your future in the place of prayer; you will reap it. If you are also not sowing to the flesh, you are not creating any connection with your spouse; you will also reap it.

Marriage requires intentionality. You most intentionally sow, whatever you want to reap in your marriage you must sow it. If you want a closely knitted family, you must sow it; it’s not that when your children have grown up and they’re now twenty-five years old, you want them to be close to you and when they were three or four years old, you sent them away; then suddenly you want to wake up to a closely knitted family, it won’t happen. When you were growing, when it was seed time for you and your spouse to be gist partners; you were not gisting, it was just food, work, church; you will reap it. Because when it is time when your children have all gone, when you have retired and two of you will now sit down looking at yourself; there’s nothing to talk about because you didn’t sow it. You are trying to reap what you did not sow and Bible says God cannot be deceived; God can’t be mocked. You can’t spiritualize it by praying closeness and intimacy in your marriage; you sow it, you have to be intentional. If you want your husband to become your best friend you must sow it, if you want your wife to become your best friend you must sow it.

When a farmer wants to plant seed, the farmer would till the ground; Bible says unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it abides alone. That your idea that you are building on cloud nine is just in your mind, you have not put a seed to the ground, so there is nothing to harvest. For you to have a harvest you must put seed in the ground. What seed are you putting in the ground of your marriage? While you are waiting for that man, for that woman, what seed are you putting in the ground; in the place of prayer and the place of preparation because that will determine your harvests.  Let’s go further in Galatians chapter 6, and he said; “let us not grow weary while doing good.” Because this is where the problem lies, we get tired. Seedtime looks as if it takes forever; (have been sowing and it looks as if I’m not seeing anything) lets see the cousel of God again: let us not grow weary while doing good. That seed you are putting in the ground is a good thing, don’t be tired of it. He said don’t grow weary while doing good, for in due season (there will be harvest) we shall reap (we shall reap in our marriage in due season; that due season talks about a time of waiting, a time where patience and perseverance is required) if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, (when does opportunity show itself? daytime, as we have the opportunity in our youth, as we have the opportunity now that it is day) let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. Let us do good in our marriage so that we can reap it; it is so important. So, what is the counsel of God concerning times and seasons in marriages?

Number One: Understand Times and Seasons: 1 Chronicles chapter 12:32, the Bible says that the sons of Issachar, they understood times and seasons, they knew what Israel ought to do part time. In your marriage, you must know what you should do per time. Understanding times and seasons will put you in command, will make your marriage a model marriage. In your marriage, you must know what to do in winter, summer, cold, night and day. He said when the sons of Issachar understood, they didn’t just have head knowledge, they knew what Israel ought to do per time. Romans chapter 13:11-14, “And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; (Now, Apostle Paul was speaking to the Roman church, he says, you must know what to do at every time. He said, this is the height of the time to awake out of sleep.) for now, our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand (so get ready).

“Therefore, let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Verse 13, let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lust”. This is what we must do, it is high time to awake out of sleep. In your marriage, now, do you know what is required at this time? understand it and know what to do.

Number Two: You Must be Properly Located: Habakkuk said, I will stand my watch, and set myself on the rampart, to see what God will say to me and how I will answer. If you are not properly located, you will not see; you will not hear. Psalm chapter 1:2-3, talks about the blessed man. He said the habit of this man is meditating on the Word of the Lord day or night; he is properly located in the Word, so he can see; he can hear. He said his delight is in the law of the Lord and he meditates on it day and night. Verse 3, now talks about him; he said, he is like a tree planted by the river of water, he brings forth his fruit in season. You will produce in season if you are properly located. If you’re not properly located, you will not bring forth your fruits in season.

Number Three: Understand that God is in Charge and in Control of Times and Seasons: Ecclesiastes chapter 3:11, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end”. God is in control of times and seasons. Jesus saying in Acts chapter 1:7, He said, the Father has these things fixed within His authority; we must understand that times and seasons are within the authority of God. Let’s see Daniel chapter 2:21, which talks about God, it says, “and He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding”. Understand this, your God; your Father is in control of times and seasons. If you go through the Bible, you will read Scriptures like ‘and it came to pass’. No time is permanent, no season is permanent. If God was not in control of times and seasons, the devil would have made seasons permanent, he would have made times permanent but God is in control, no time permanent. As day comes, night will come. As night ease, day will break; there will be a dawning of a new day, another opportunity to sow, another opportunity to work. God is in control; God has never lost control of times and seasons: we must understand it.

Number Four: Trust in the Lord. As you are walking on this side of life, trust in the Lord. You cannot afford to live your life dependent on yourself. Bible says trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, in all your ways in your marriage, acknowledge Him, acknowledge the God of times and seasons, and He will direct your path. Psalm chapter 31:14-15, David was saying; “But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, You are my God. My times are in Your hand” (my times are not in the hands of the devil, it is not in the hands of the government, it is not in the hands of men; my times are in Your hand). Trust God, Bible says whatever you commit into the hands of God, He is able to keep unto the uttermost, you can’t commit your times into the hands of the Lord, and He will mess it up; He will keep it. David said my times are in Your hands.

Lastly: Remain Steadfast. Remain steadfast, unmovable, abounding in the work of the Lord. Second Timothy chapter 4:2, “Preach the Word! Be ready in season (Your marriage is not for a season your marriage is forever.) and out of season. Convinced, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching”. This is the approach we must have to our marriage, because, it is in times and seasons, and it does not expire. You must declare the whole counsel of God in your marriage; in season and out of season. Don’t stop; what God has spoken about your marriage will come to pass, the plan, the purpose and the intent of God about your marriage will come to pass. Believe Him, remain steadfast, resolute on that point, that the Lord that has began a good work in us is able to complete it. Sometimes it will look as if it is forever, that it is not ending; but be instant in season and out of season. Whether it is cold, heat, winter, summer; be ready, steadfast, unmovable.

 

 

 

 

Article Source: [Centre for New Dimension Leadership]

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Omolara Adedeji
Executive Director at Flickers of Hope Foundation
She is an Associate Contributor on Fridayposts. She is the Executive Director of Flickers of Hope Foundation in Abuja, Nigeria. A passionate woman with a strong heart for God and faith in His Word.
She is an inspirational writer and speaker. She has written two transforming books - The Battle of Destination and The Marriage Covenant.

She counsels men and women on issues pertaining to marriage, purpose and ministry. She is happily married to Gboyega Adedeji

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Omolara Adedeji

She is an Associate Contributor on Fridayposts. She is the Executive Director of Flickers of Hope Foundation in Abuja, Nigeria. A passionate woman with a strong heart for God and faith in His Word. She is an inspirational writer and speaker. She has written two transforming books - The Battle of Destination and The Marriage Covenant. She counsels men and women on issues pertaining to marriage, purpose and ministry. She is happily married to Gboyega Adedeji

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Times and Seasons in Marriage

by Omolara Adedeji time to read: 17 min
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