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The word ‘virtuous’ is from the word ‘virtue, and it represents the peak of excellence in morality or integrity or character (decency, goodness and trustworthiness).
While many of us could fix our minds on the word ‘woman’ as an identity of a gender group; I am persuaded in my spirit that the word ‘Woman’ describes an assignment and the assigned. Each time a woman is called, an assignment is mentioned and the person assigned also called. However, there is a simple difference between the word ‘wife’ and the word ‘woman’. While ‘Woman’ describes an assignment to be carried out by a person; ‘wife’ shows us the person that is carrying out the assignment given.
The story of Deborah in the Bible is an instructive one; see how she was described: “Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, was judging Israel at that time.” (Judges 4:4). If you spend a moment on that verse, you will see that the Scripture did not say, “Now Deborah, a prophetess, a woman, was judging Israel…” If I may say, “Until we show ourselves responsible, more responsibilities will not be given to us by anyone.”
Deborah proved her worth and trustworthiness in her marriage as a virtuous wife; she then became a great jewel that could judge a nation. The question of ‘Who can find a virtuous wife?’ is therefore a sensitive and instructive one. By the way, an unmafrried female is often called a woman; and only a female married and staying married that is called a wife. Further, until virtues flow from the marriage of a woman, she cannot be called virtuous. Who can then find a virtuous wife? One whose value is more than rubies!
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
Proverbs 31:10-11
If you meditate further on the words of those verses above, you will see that it takes a husband to find a virtuous wife. And I say, any man can find any woman; however, to find a virtuous wife, one must be a trusting husband and a trusted husband. Do you know that all married men (husbands) are not trusting? Do you also agree that all married men cannot be trusted? If a husband therefore lacks virtue; why is he then looking for it in a wife? This is indeed a paradox!
In marriage, two becomes one; and until a man becomes a virtuous husband; he might not be able to find a virtuous wife. Like attracts like; and as a man sharpens the countenance of his friend, a man can also dull or sharpen the countenance of his friend. Bringing it to marriage, a husband will more often than not, find the wife he deserves! Therefore, what a husband desires to find in his wife, he should become it!
Till next time we connect again – learn to become your greatest desire and learn to sharpen your own countenance to attract sharpened friends and partners in your life. Stay refreshed in the Lord!